


Nice...

by raphrodo



Series: Coming Out [2]
Category: IT Crowd
Genre: Coming Out, Multi, Other, some homophobia, some implied emotional abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-29
Updated: 2015-11-29
Packaged: 2018-05-03 21:59:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,848
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5308400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/raphrodo/pseuds/raphrodo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Moss comes out to his friends 20 years after (sort of) coming out to his mum.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Nice...

**Author's Note:**

> Moss is gay and I'd like to invite you all to fight me.

When Moss was 10 years old, he told his mother a secret.

“I really like this boy at school, mum.”

She was cooking, and when she was cooking she sometimes didn’t listen very well. “That’s nice. What’s your friend’s name?”

“Jonathan. He has two different colour eyes! One is -”

“Can you hand me that tomato sauce, Moss?” She wasn’t listening. That was okay. He just wanted an excuse to talk about Jonathan out loud. He passed his mum the tomato sauce.

“One’s brown and the other’s blue. It’s really cool.”

“He sounds nice.” Eye colour didn’t have anything to do with niceness as far as Moss knew, but it was a good enough segue.

“He is nice! Today we were talking and I asked him if he would let me kiss him, and he said yes, but then I got too nervous so we just held hands instead.”

Mum dropped her spoon into the pot. She’d picked an unfortunate time to start listening.

********

Within two weeks, Moss was going to a different school. All the boys there called him names, and none of them had one brown eye and one blue. Maybe eye colour did have something to do with it.

 

************************

 

As a teenager, Moss wasn’t really interested in any of the girls at school. He wasn’t really interested in any of the boys, either. Or anyone in particular. He didn’t have close friends, and didn’t especially want any. Sure, he was lonely sometimes, and there were things he wished he could talk about with someone that he couldn’t with his mum. But he had plenty of things to distract him, like school and movies and that novel he was trying to write but never planned to publish or show anyone ever. He was fine.

Occasionally, though, he would see couples kissing in the hallways, and he felt a pang of jealousy. He was alright on his own, really… but he did sort of wish someone would kiss him. It seemed… nice.

Sometimes in these moments he would start wondering whatever happened to Jonathan. But that was silly. What happened between him and Jonathan was just kid stuff. Guys his age didn’t hold hands with boys, unless they were gay. Moss wasn’t gay. Probably.

Still, there were some nights when he was feeling particularly lonely, where he would try to imagine someone just lying next to him, kissing him or stroking his hair. He tried to think of one of the girls from school, but more often it was a boy. He never told anyone about this. He had no one to tell.

 

************************

 

He was 18 when he met Roy. They had a class together but had never really spoken to each other. Moss wasn’t even sure why he noticed him. He was tall, but then Moss was nearly the same height. He didn’t say much. His hair was greasy and his posture was terrible. Sometimes Moss could swear he wore the same outfit for a week straight. He couldn’t stop looking at him.

Their first proper meeting was in class when everyone had to choose a partner for an assignment. Moss didn’t expect anyone to pick him. He was always one of the leftovers. He busied himself by zipping and unzipping his jacket.

“Hey,” a voice came from above. Moss looked up. It was Roy, looking extremely uncomfortable. “Guess we’re the only two left. Everyone else was too intimidated by us.”

Moss smiled up at him, trying to be polite. Roy smiled back. He had a nice smile.

********

They didn’t end up doing any work. They met in Roy’s dorm room and Roy insisted they take a few minutes to get to know each other, to “build trust,” and they quickly found out that they had a lot in common. They both had few friends, overbearing parents, and an extensive movie collection.

They ended up basically telling each other their life stories. Moss left out the part about Jonathan, but he did tell Roy about how much he hated being around his mother, which he’d never talked about to anyone before. Roy said he felt the same way about his dad. Roy talked about how he didn’t understand a lot of social rules. Moss thought about asking if he was autistic, too, but instead just agreed with him.

The more Roy talked, the more Moss loved hearing him. He’d never felt this at ease around someone he’d just met. Although every so often his chest felt a little tight… but that was a common enough feeling for him. He ignored it.

********

The day the assignment was due, Roy ran up to Moss looking panicked. “I’m sorry we didn’t get anything done,” he said. “I’m not very good at getting things done, but you shouldn’t have to be punished for it. I feel terrible.”

“It’s alright, Roy. I really, honestly don’t mind.”

“Thanks, man.” Roy quickly hugged him and ran off. Moss couldn’t remember the last time someone had hugged him. It felt nice.

That night he didn’t feel very lonely, but he did think a lot about Roy.

 

************************

 

Moss wasn’t sure why Roy was acting so weird about the play. Was he really that bothered by a musical about gay people? He was making him a little uncomfortable, to be honest. He didn’t think Roy was really homophobic, but he did wish he would stop complaining. Besides, the show was amazing! But of course, he had his own reasons for thinking so.

Moss had sort of resigned himself to the fact that he was gay a few years ago (pretty flippin’ obvious, really), but he had never told anyone. Not even Roy. Because if he told Roy, he would probably assume Moss fancied him. And he’d be right. It would just be a mess.

Especially judging by the way he was acting now. Moss sighed watching Roy squirm in his seat. Was it bad that he suddenly wanted to kiss him more than ever? Probably. Best just to focus on this utterly brilliant play.

By the intermission, Moss had changed his mind. He was going to tell his friends. Even Roy. It was a little scary to think about, but then, Roy was his best friend. If he couldn’t handle Moss being gay, well… better to find out sooner than later. He didn’t think he would actually mind, though. That wasn’t like Roy. He could be obnoxious, but he was really a good person. It was going to be fine.

Then, strangely, Roy went into the disabled toilet and Moss didn’t see him again all evening.

********

The events of the night left him somewhat disoriented, but once he got out of the theatre, he came back to his senses. He called Jen, then realised it was late and he probably should have texted, but by then she had already answered.

“Moss? What the hell was going on with you and Roy all evening?”

Good old Jen. “Roy? Have you seen him? I haven’t since the middle of the play.”

“Pretty sure he got on a bus with a bunch of people in wheelchairs.”

“What? Where were they going? I really need to talk to both of you. It’s important.”

There was a pause, then a sigh from Jen. “Are you still at the theatre?”

“Yes, or just by it.”

“Alright, well… stay there. I’ll come get you.”

********

“I really wish Roy was here. You have no idea where he went?” Moss frowned. All this anxiety about making this confession to Roy and he was nowhere to be found.

“No idea, but you probably won’t get him here tonight. Do you want to go home and wait until we see him?” Jen seemed a little put out by the idea. They had just arrived at her flat, and she had just sat down in the kitchen. She probably didn’t want to go driving Moss around again just yet.

Moss sighed. “No, it’s alright. I’ll just text him later.” He sat across the table from her and tried to pretend he was making eye contact. “I just wanted to let you know that I’m gay.”

Jen sat up straight. “Are you being serious?”

Moss was a little surprised by her reaction. “Yes…?”

Now Jen was standing. “Oh my god,” she said in apparent disbelief. “Twice in one night! This is unreal!”

“What on earth are you talking about, Jen?” Moss remembered suddenly. “Ohhh, did your date turn out to be gay after all?”

Jen gave him a forced smile. “Yes, Moss. He did. Roy was right. Of course he was! Any time I don’t want Roy to be right, he is. And any time I want to believe him, he’s wrong! Ha!” She sat down again, her expression instantly changing to apologetic. “Oh god, I’m sorry, Moss! I didn’t mean to make this about me. I’m really happy for you, I promise!”

“Thanks.”

“So…” Jen said after a moment. “Does that explain the way you’re always looking at Roy?”

Moss felt annoyed at himself for being so obvious, but also a bit relieved to get one more thing off his chest. “Yes, Jen, I do have feelings for Roy. Which reminds me, I need to text him now.”

 

************************

 

[2:31 AM] Hey, Roy. Not sure where you disappeared to, but I had something to tell you.

[2:33 AM] I just told Jen and it doesn’t seem fair that she knows and you don’t.

[2:44 AM] Well, anyway. I’m gay.

[2:44 AM] I mean in the homosexual sense.

[9:03 AM] Are you alright? Where are you?

[9:08 AM] I’m sorry if this is weird for you.

[12:28 PM] Roy, please be okay. I’m really scared.

                              [12:32 PM] Jason disks skin alchemy AP cuckoo coals spam if it less spake also dulcimer Ciao

[12:32 PM] YOU’RE ALIVE !!!!

[12:32 PM] Also: ???

                              [12:34 PM] sorry i had autocorrect on for some reason

                              [12:34 PM] translation: fjskdhgsklghsklgh jesus im so sorry for not responding moss i had a rough night

                              [12:35 PM] also im sorry i acted so shit at the play. pls dont get the wrong idea

                              [12:35 PM] im really glad u told me

[12:37 PM] Thanks… so where are you?

                              [12:40 PM] im home now but i spent a long time going to manchester and back

[12:40 PM] ?????????

                              [12:42 PM] its a long story. ill tell u later

                              [12:52 PM] actlly u shld come over after work

[12:52 PM] Yeah!

[12:57 PM] I missed you today

                              [1:00 PM] yeah me 2

                              [1:04 PM] hey moss

                              [1:04 PM] i love u

[1:05 PM] !!!!!!!!!!!

                              [1:06 PM] not like that

[1:06 PM] Yeah, I know… /:

[1:07 PM] You’re not comfortable with your sexuality yet. It’s understandable.

                              [1:09 PM] ok moss

[1:12 PM] I love you too, Roy

[1:12 PM] <3

                              [1:13 PM] yr gay

[1:13 PM] Get used to it.

                              [1:15 PM] i can definitely do that

[1:16 PM] Nice.


End file.
